Motherhood, Mums

Packing a pump

Seven months ago, I faced the daunting task of wanting to breast feed my baby while I struggled with low supply and poor latch.

I’m sad to say I even wished some of the time away until TJ would be six-months-old and I could stop having the “breast is best” mantra echoing through my mind.

This meant hours of pumping, two sessions with a lactation consultant and many tears from both myself and TJ as we struggled to get it right.

But we got there after deciding to combi feed and we enjoyed many treasured and special times together while TJ fed.

Now, as the little man approaches eight-months-old, when he’s weaning well and my date back to work looms in the distance, the time has come to stop the feeds.

And I’m struggling with it. I’m sad it’s over.

I’ll always be glad I persevered with breastfeeding. It’s meant hours of unique and unforgettable moments where TJ lay in my arms, content and full.

(I’m not saying anything negative about formula whatsoever – we’ve used shed loads of the stuff!)

So, maybe I’m mourning the loss of my little newborn who gets bigger and stronger every day. Maybe I’m feeling guilty that I should keep up the feeds a little longer. Maybe I’m worried TJ will miss it as much as I will.

I’m not sure. All I do know it’s the right thing for us to do now for so many reasons.

Did any other breastfeeding mamas experience these mixed emotions?

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Baby

It’s been a while

And I guess that’s a good thing! It means parenting is keeping me busy – and never has a truer word been said.

Things are changing as TJ develops at a rate which feels faster than the speed of sound.

He’s weaned now so that means lots of whizzed up in the blender food, a million Ella’s Kitchen pouches and no more breastfeeding.

Still no teeth! All the signs (don’t we just know it) but none of the pearly white reward.

Naps are more often than not in the cot now. I spent months walking TJ in his pram or driving him in the car twice a day to get him to sleep as the cot just wasn’t working. We still have bad days with it but the cot nap is definitely more regular.

We’ve even had our first family holiday. Ok, only to the Isle of Wight but TJ saw the sea, paddled on a beach and coped so well with a week away from home. I’m sure it’s the sea air which knocked him out!

But the hardest (imminent) change is that I will be returning to work in a few short weeks.

I’m sure like every other mother out there, I’m having all the same emotions. So many tears already. A lot of anxiety. More than a twinge of sadness that my full-time hours with TJ are over. How I wish it didn’t have to be this way. Four days a week without my little sidekick will hurt more than any of his real kicks.

Any tips on how to get through this?

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